I thought up a punishment: I might buy a pair of shoes, a stupid pair of shoes, embarrassing to wear, to be seen in, and force myself to wear them every day, no matter how inappropriate the occasion, how inclement the weather, or how towering my shame might grow. I found the shoes quite easily; they were a pair of Birkenstocks imprinted with a cartoon of a cat; I found them online, they were close-toed, red leather, they were to be shipped to me from Italy. I would wear them to my friend’s wedding next month; she would be horrified to see me in those shoes. As I hovered over the purchase button I suddenly closed the browser window, the application and the lid of my computer — I knew I was capable of going through with it — my punishment had gone far enough.